Strikes

So I encountered my first 'strike' of the trip and naturally assumed this was some kind of actual strike. Informed that it affected both private and state buses on the route I wanted to take I was a bit confused. It eventually turns out that the strike is in fact civil disobedience and involves the residents of a province blocking the government built interstate roads... probably sitting down as is usual for an Indian protest.... no idea who started all of that or what they were protesting against ;)

Civilisation

So Andhra is quite a poor state, and looking back I've probably been far too negative. Ever since I entered Karnataka it looks more like somewhere in southern Europe. Passed a Dominos, KFC... The motorcyclists almost all wear helmets, but not their passengers of course. The roads are cleaner..  and the police have hilarious hats.... I miss rural India already

New rules

You have to enjoy the chaos. I visited a waterfall which unfortunately turned out to be rather busy as it is also a temple on the pilgrim route. There were three separated channels entering the temple doorway, the barriers here didn't seem to correspond to any visible system and its more like a maze. Unfortunately I soon became trapped in one of the queues, between two crowds of people trying to move in opposite directions. Indians don't queue, and if you aren't pushing the person in front hard enough the one behind will give you a nudge or gesture at the lack of space you are supposed to move into. Anyone who says jostle is a liar, this is pushing, as the crowd surges backwards and forwards a few people slip on the steps. Its alright though, the crowd is thick enough to prevent anyone falling. A police officer stands in the middle of this blowing a whistle in what is becoming a familiar style - he doesn't actually give any directions, just repeated bursts on the whistle. I'm not sure it even has any meaning, just blast blast blast. The bus drivers have much the same idea with the horn, it doesn't seem to mean "I'm here" or "get out of the way" as it does when a vehicle is being cut up, its just relentless. Some even have a rhythm to their horn blasting, a true one note song. While being squashed in this slightly damp crowd (holy bathing at the waterfall) I noticed that people would smile back. You have to enjoy the chaos.
A similar rule is followed on buses, of all the Britishisms to rub off, women and children first wasn't one of them. In case anyone thinks I'm passing a judgement (again) I'm not though, I have seen just how many people in England don't grasp the simple concept that people get off the train first.

Hidden Views

I am essentially following a pilgrim route, so a number of the temple priests assume I am a Hare Krishna. One time I did correct this and admitted I didn't have any god, and there was silence, as if they can see right inside me and read my judgement. It's as if I have suddenly admitted out loud that I think they all look a bit primitive and are about as close to dancing around a fire chanting as you can get. Or that I have passed judgement on all religion, which is closer to the truth. This may be true but I don't want to say it, I do try and show respect. They are wrong though, and the great pasta knows of this.

Holy Hill

"Tirumala hills must be very sacred ground"
"How can you tell that?"
"It hasn't got shit all over it"

I remember the Monty Python team commented about their motivation for this scene, that preceding historical dramas had failed to capture the grim reality of medieval life. Just as all those wonderful pictures you see of India fail to capture the sheer quantity of rubbish which covers the ground, or the stench of urine or open drains. At least here signs inform guests not to spit, urinate in the open or litter, its a vision of progress, maybe within reach. There is even a ban on soft drinks in plastic bottles and carrier bags, which in classic Indian style doesn't yet extend to: Mineral water, or any of the single serving prepackaged foods or cosmetics, religious tat or toys

Poor monkey

A man is begging, and to set the scene I'm probably a bit hot and tired, so on top idiot abroad form. This is also the biggest pilgrim destination in India, and about as close as you can get to the prime begging location. He has a monkey on a chain, attracting people for photos, but in his hand he has also a stick and prods it once. I look around for a stick with which to beat him, feeling a sudden rage. But I can't see one,  and I admit this was possibly for the best. Instead I spend the next few minutes harassing him and making rude hand gestures. I realise that I am taking his business and willingly pose for half a dozen photos. For some reason people here want to remember my pretty face :D. Eventually I accept that while this is a strictly vegetarian sacred place, the people here don't grasp animal welfare

Indian English

Some of the english here has evolved separately and so preserves older forms, but unfortunately for a pedant other times words end up misused. For example 'hotel' almost always means 'restaurant'... or occasionally actually  'hotel' just to throw you. I don't usually mind, you have to try and guess the real meaning of any statement... but the other day I finally felt compelled to launch into a description of why, although beer and whiskey can be purchased from a wine shop, they are not wine (at least in modern english). In the end I settled on a diagram classifying alcohol, and covering various types including cider, beer, ale, lager, spirits, vodka, whiskey, gin, and wine, elaborated with the originating grains and fruits. I finished this lecture with "And that's why all of Andhra Pradesh is wrong" and looked up to see the entire bar staring at me. Thankfully this is just the general state of a bar in India, as nobody can understand me anyway... one of the fellow patrons later confirmed I was the first English person he had seen.

And that is how the english tourist got his reputation... and the least pleasant beer he had ever encountered
R. Kipling

India health problems

Things are getting bad down at the foot end. Serious sandal tan, parts of my feet look like they belong to different people

Temple leeches

While I feel sorry for most beggars in India (but my generosity is reigned by the various mafias and sheer background of poverty) it is not so for the temple beggars. Hindus believe that money should be given on a pilgrimage and so a number of beggars, some with very clear disabilities, cluster at the temples. When passing a row of them  they raise their arms as I approach, creating a kind of mexican wave. Much as the leeches in Kerala, which stand end up when searching for food, begin to wave around when they each sense movement. The hand gestures are combined with a similar annoying phrase, which rises in pitch and volume as it becomes clear I'm just going to walk by. I hate them. I have my doubts about each of them that seems to suffer from what can only be described as limp wrist

Ahobilam

By chance I stumbled across somewhere beautiful in the forest, but without too many forest officers nosing about. But that is a subject for a babbling traveler blog.

The more interesting encounter was the eccentric pilgrim I met on the first day. He talked to me mostly in Hindi (of which I know only the word for no, usually preceded by 'Hindi'), because he didn't know enough English. This eventually lead to my second offer of a marriage introduction... apparently bachelor at 26 isn't done here

Heading south

If you want to head to a specific town, its easy (relatively), say the place name and Indians will help you find the bus. Even if your pronunciation is not understood you can always write it down. At the central bus stand for each town you wont even have to walk far and each destination has its own stand. (easy to explain to auto drivers too) Heading south is a slightly harder concept to translate, for example "Any town south of here." was eventually abandoned in favor of "Wheres that bus going", "Nandyal", *checks map, its roughly in the right direction* "Yes I want to go to Nandyal"

I would point out this Idiot abroad does have a map - a google maps printout with about half of the necessary place names

Srisailam

Had an absolutely amazing time in Srisailam, made friends, but that's exactly the kind of generic rubbish I don't want to go on about. Instead consider this -

As the conspicuous single western tourist in a village which doesn't get many tourists (excluding pilgrims), and wearing shorts and sandals, running along the road to the lake in the sun. To complete this image and the spectacle you should remember that most Indians avoid running. Arriving at the sacred lake where the Indians are doing their ceremonial bathing, I wade in and have a quick swim. While I'm used to drawing quite a lot of attention I later remember that many Indians cant swim. The temple security in their circular boats aren't too keen on me swimming in the holy water, so after a quick game of cat and mouse I eventually climb back up to be accidentally included in a dozen more photos

I suspect "English" is now qualified by "Oh those English"

Pilgrim Accommodation

As Indians build temples at beautiful locations, its worth noting that the accommodation for pilgrims often has free vegetarian food.

Litter

"We don't know how to do the globalisation, the changes we need. But humanity, we know" -
an Indian microbiology graduate on littering as an example of India's development problems.

Indians drop rubbish where they stand, wherever they stand. Its not that they are messy, or careless, the concept of littering just doesn't exist, its what is done. The one older guy I questioned on this said it wasn't worth one person changing their ways. There isn't any feeling of shame in dropping litter, its not when no-one is watching. Or urinating in the street for that matter..

In Kerala I did catch a TV advert trying to change attitudes on litter, but I'm not sure if this will happen fast enough. Even the most beautiful spots I encounter (being unable to enter the reserves) are covered in a layer of litter. The problem is the half-life. I'm not sure how many years Indians have been consuming minute plastic packaged goods, but it isn't a scratch on the lifespan of plastic in the environment. Everything is single serving, packaged separately. Enter the world of 12g packs of peanuts.

England is no model - I've seen Watford high street on sunday morning, but at least the kind of people who go to the national parks are slightly less likely to litter. I'm sure people will object to my tone, and point out that India is catching up to a more developed country. It's a problem of technology, when England was covered in filth - plastic hadn't been invented...

No single persons

On moving into Srisailam I did have a little trouble finding a room. The first lodge (for pilgrims) said "No single persons", as did the second. The third eventually relented, following the negotiation from my bus friend that I was both a student needing cheap accommodation and AP (Andhra Pradesh) Tourism would not be very happy if I was refused a room. I didn't think much of it, assuming that this was one of the practicalities in a town which hosted millions of pilgrims each year.
A Nepali guy later explained - "Suicide". Followed by gestures of the various familiar methods. It turns out this is a town where Hindus are known to make a one way trip... In my mind I'm protesting my will to live in an imaginary conversation with Hotel staff!

The English are coming

I feel as if I am stuck somewhere between the TV adaption of Terry Pratchets colour of magic and the Wicker Man. I haven't seen another light skinned person in days and clearly neither has the village. I am "The  tourist". Sometimes crowds of schoolchidren follow me out of curiosity, repeating "English", "English"

Josh's little adventures

I'm walking back from the Temple as I now know the center of the city. You can't walk past the state building, the perimeter fence has its own perimeter fence. Inside the perimeter fence an electric perimeter fence adds to the defenses, the usual handful of guards holding aged looking rifles... not going to see any photos of that!

So past this building is the public garden. A nice space which looks to be full of families, I find a bench and relax for a few minutes. A short time later A guy sits down and starts talking, the usual stuff. Then he starts talking about the guests coming to this park. Apparently the guests come at 6.30....

Ah. He means the gays come to this park at 6.30. If it isn't obvious already he then proceeds to become more suggestively spread over the bench for the rest of the conversation. It seems I have discovered the gay pick up point for Hyderabad. At a glance the gay men in India behave much as the European stereotype, often wearing an item of pink. Regretting telling of my bachelor status I eventually make a few apologies and leave.

At the edge of the park another younger guy introduces himself with the line "I'm a gay". I make some apology not to seem rude and walk speedily on, suspecting that I'm getting quite a few looks. The guy, wearing pink shoes I notice, follows me... a little unnerving. I see him a couple of times later, clearly following, but as I have a couple of stone on my side I just make it clear I'm trying to lose him...

Ah, another little adventure

Modern Art

Rickshaw driver says museums are closed (not verified) on Sunday. Offers to take me to the temple, I accept and on arrival I get directed up the hill. Climb hill, miss temple, find planetarium instead. Decide to skip planetarium and find modern art gallery at the same site.
Its an attractive building (inside at least) built into the top of the hill above Hyderabad. Slanted planes of rock protrude through the walls and parts of the floor. As I found in Kerala the art is accessible and pretty good. I'm reminded I love art, there are wonderful portrayals of local life, isolation, family, disgust. The styles vary, and I don't know how to describe them, mostly oils/acrylics as these artists are not compelled to use something controversial. It couldn't be further from the absolute rubbish at the Tate Modern. If I ever see another painting made up of two blocks of colour again it will be too soon, unless of course I have purchased it along with some matches. Unfortunately the museum (perhaps filling space) also has a collection of european paintings of the worst kind. Fleshy young women exposing a nipple here and there... those can go on the "I'm going to paint a tree silver and call it art" pile

No glass in window

So a lot of lodge rooms here have no glass in part of the window. No problem I think, India is a hot country by my standards. Oh how wrong I was - there is not enough DEET in the world

Negotiation level - English

Being 'the English' I'm naturally found wanting when trying to barter. Tipping the person who shows the rooms more than I saved in the final round of negotiation... level English

SIM failures

So the laws on getting a SIM card in India are ever changing since the Indian government was caught napping over Mumbai. The latest twist is delayed activation (introduced on the day I tried to buy a card without any of the sellers seeming to know), combined with the requirement for address proof, which tourists often don't have...

In the frustration which you can imagine, some glimmer of amusement - A tata photon salesperson inadvertently revealing he uses Airtel when trying to check the card. Followed by what should be called an international smile!

The toilet situation

I check in to grim hotel no.1 in a hurry to save money. And so begins the toilet situation. I don't even try the flush, I see the lever hanging down. Unfortunately I am also an engineer so I open the lid to find... mosquito larvae living in the cistern.
Ed. I have now resolved this with the help of a couple of water purifier tabs, for the benefit of future residents.
Moving on I try the flush mechanism only to find water sprays from the fractured pipework all over the floor. Luckily you wont find an untiled bathroom in India. I'll be using the bucket flush then...

Banking

So service here is a little different. In my latest mini misadventure I try and change some money at the State Bank of Hyderabad. Starting well, I get directed to international banking and look lost until a guy gives me a sign to wait... eventually I get directed to a seat, but after one look at the British pounds the man walks off (I later figure to lunch) without saying a word. I sit myself comfortably and begin the waiting, slowly the staff disappear. I see a cluster of them sitting down to eat at a desk nearby. Patience my young...
After lunch the foreign exchange guy returns, and serves myself and another customer in parallel, but more than twice as slowly, as is the custom here. The odd glance at some forms, no words. After some more form exchange, and token exchange, I get directed to the money counter. Again one person serves two separate windows at the same time. I miss Kerala and the State bank of Travancore. Smiles in every direction and heads wobbling like floating coconuts! Here nobody smiles

Telugu

There must be a problem with my gesture vocabulary - I can't seem to translate to either the service (no english) or the receptionist (limited english) the following. 'Bring me some food, vegetarian food (veg), no any food I'm just hungry'. Eventually the guy gets the hint and suggests something - yes I want that.
So perhaps this idiot abroad behaviour comes from being awake for 36 hours, and as an English I feel guilty. I give the guy a big tip, but naturally removal of the plates requires another 15 minute conversation with both staff, and the unintended purchase of a bottle of sprite.