No Secrets

There is often a single word used to describe foreigners, Europeans, or in India 'whites'. Learn it and you will know instantly whenever someone is talking about you. Children on the other hand are innocent. There are small children being pushed up and down the street in a cart chanting 'farang farang'.

Too easy

Exploring India without a smartphone was an adventure. Never knowing exactly where you are, getting directions by word of mouth. Having to learn to count in the local language. A smartphone takes the fun out of it, especially with cheap mobile data. The maps tell you where you are, where to go and when your bus has arrived at its destination. Its impossible to be truly lost with GPS. You can Google questions and necessary words in the local language. It's too easy now, there isn't any challenge, but even worse, is impossible to go back. I think I have found the solution though, go where the maps fail. Where there is no mobile signal. Where barely any speaker of a European language has described on the internet. Google maps doesn't record the islands of Ang Nam ngum, and one blog and an old tourist guide record visits. Curiously all this can be found barely 50km as the crow flies from a busy tourist spot. The law of pessimism dictates I will find another backpacker there when I arrive.

Mechanical Failures

I'm used to bus failures and roadside repairs, I've seen a Nepali bus belching black smoke fail to even make it over the boundary of the bus station, had an Indian minivan smash it's fuel tank 240km from civilisation, helped push start a south Indian bus, and suffered two buses lose tyres, but Laos is attempting to take the lead with two in three days. The first bus sprang a rather substantial leak in the radiator just a few hours in to a 13 hour journey. It's quite impressive that the driver was able to dismantle the radiator and have it running again in just over an hour. The second bus reached barely 12km beyond the starting point before it stops. It's an unscheduled stop, nothing is said. The engine starts again, it stops. Starts, stops. I can hear the distinctive sound of someone searching in a toolbox. I can smell diesel...

Its only half an hour until the cheery voice announces we're going again (in Lao). Engine rumbles, tickets rechecked, sick bags distributed. If I ever make the adventure sound glamorous, the old lady next to me is already filling hers.

Adventures

The Honda wave/dream is a hardy machine. It's driven by Thai people living in the most remote areas of the country, though often with upgrades. I've yet to kill one despite dozens of river crossings and grounding or striking just about every low part of the bike. It has enough power to climb almost any hill you'll find, though with its stiff suspension care is needed to avoid launching yourself into the air. Eventually though, the low ground clearance of a stock wave will bite you. After lifting, rocking, walking and shoving the bike over what was for several rainy seasons abandoned as a road, I start to wonder. Is this teamwork, or Johnny Cash wrecking his cars. The engine still runs, but what if I am the destroyer of rental bikes. The story ends when I return the bike.

Thailand and censorship

Many websites are blocked in Thailand. It's not overbearing, and Google is still permitted to record the existence of the blocked page. One curiosity is that many parts of the UK's daily mail are blocked. I thoroughly approve.

Thai brides

I can't not think about this, it's something that's in your face. The international couples are generally only split one way. You know the ones, old western man, much younger Thai woman. It's the kind of exploitative relationship that stories and media coverage had led me to expect. But of course it's not that so simple. Not to say awful things aren't happening, but its more complicated. For a while I'm ignoring the inevitable men who have bought a partner for sex and instead considering the couples.

It starts with spending a lot of time in a bar. The owner and her friends are all single mums, and while the father isn't totally absent from the lives of their children, it's monthly at best. 'Thai men no good' they joke. One small difference is the much older westerners are often planning to settle. (Though may eventually be absent from their children's lives for obvious reasons). It breaks the fantasy of the alternative being a perfect lifelong relationship simply because the culture is other and the imagination hadn't stretched to separation.

Its curious how they get along, with cultural and linguistic barriers. Some of the younger men who settle (late thirties or forties) have learned conversational Thai, but it seems the majority don't, even after a decade. They interact with the world through their partners, tourists still. Sometimes in the evenings two separate groups socialise in the same place, the ex-pats and the Thais, sitting interleaved. But there are other differences, the age can't be ignored. Sometimes their health seems failing and the Thai lady almost plays the part of nurse, maid and partner.

Money is the big inequality. The strongest argument is the dependence on money, would these relationships be happening without it. And it's true, when someone is relatively so much richer they can buy what they want. But this isn't completely fair on Thailand, it's not all abject poverty. I meet one woman, 44, complaining that her western boyfriend sends her barely more than a salary for sitting around in Chiang mai. She is rather displeased at the suggestion of working, though knows without a relationship this can't last forever. She says that for this business her looks will only last a couple of years. There is a small implication here, that women often work in Thailand. It actually does quite well in international comparisons of female entrepreneurs and small business ownership.

I've met two expats, one with his part Thai son, who were left by their Thai partners. I'm perhaps perverse in thinking that failure is a good sign, the more signs of free choice the better.

I'm careful to leave room for the awful things that are happening. The children forced into the industry, inequality, lack of choice. But it doesn't match what I expected to find, what could.

Candide, the optimist. But perhaps only if you know the fast show.

Sometimes things do come together rather well. I had in mind to visit, and recklessly swim in, a lake I'd spotted on google maps. The lady from the guest house was rather helpful and after warning I wouldn't find anywhere to stay, she gave me a lift to the bus station, and we arrived just as a shared taxi service was getting ready to set off, which was nice.
I did have to take a fairly expensive motorcycle sidecar from the turning on the main road, but reached the dam in one piece. And then as I was studying the board of entry fees fearing some inflated foreigner rate, the national park guard just waved me in for free, which was nice.

The houseboats were surprisingly reasonable, but indeed the accommodation in town was rather on the expensive side. I think 8 separate bungalows with a swimming pool stretches the definition of a 'homestay' just a little, perhaps in fact bordering on 'family run resort'. I stopped at a cafe, and making small talk with the locals, who had a good laugh at my attempting all this without a vehicle, they directed me to the next town and gave me a lift to the main road, which was nice.
There was a wonderful sense of adventure striding out on the road in the bright sun, but naturally after a few km, or kilos as they are known here, I began to tire. And just then, a big black pickup truck came along, and i can tell you, sitting on the back of this there was quite a breeze, which was nice.

At the next turning I was quite out of luck for the stream of pickups, the de facto Thai rural 4-wheeled vehicle, didn't slow. But checking the maps there was a 'forest park' just a kilometre up the road, and by chance just as I reached the spot a sign for a resort. I was led to a private wooden bungalow, with attached bathroom and a terrace with a wonderful position looking out from a hill over the forest, and all for a more than reasonable 200B, which was nice.

The forest park didn't seem to be anything worthwhile, but the maps indicated another feature, a waterfall. At just 3km this seemed an easy walk and pleasantly the last half of the walk was well shaded. Fearful of the Chiang Mai pricing I was well prepared to turn back at the checkpoint, you only pay 100baht to see a waterfall once, but as luck would have it the checkpoint was unmanned, and you wouldn't believe it what a wonderful waterfall it was. There was even a crystal clear spring, which was nice.

Trudging back to the village, after all the other tourists had departed, I was caught by the last of the staff, and was able to get a lift all the way back for dinner. And it was just after dinner that I remembered there was a lake in town, which I reached in time for sunset, which was nice.

Needles to say, I needed the rest. The next morning I had barely stepped out of my room when I noticed two, what I now know to be, lantern bugs, or cock's spurs translated from the Thai, which was nice.

Waiting beside the road an engineer, briefly stopping, offered me a lift to the next town and after some small confusion regarding the inclusion of breakfast, dropped me at the resort where he was staying. He even let me use his bicycle, which was nice.

And as I cycled about the large lake, for this town was at the extreme other end of the lake I first set out to visit, I encountered some women hand dyeing cotton. A lady invited me in to the large shed of looms and balls of cotton. As it turns out this was a development project, and I, the ultimate cynic regarding any claim, was able to pick up a genuinely hand dyed and woven scarf for just £3, which was nice.

And that, mother, is why you are getting a scarf this year.

Food with a lid

There is a shrimp salad served in Thailand where the lid is an essential part of the dish. You wouldn't want your lunch escaping.

Myanmar

I've been to the river a few times, just a military outpost on the other side to mark Myanmar's presence. It seems mismatched, the Thai side has a small town with a customs hut. Obama visited the country a while ago and for a while the world commented that despite some talk of democracy little had happened. Among the Karen community the story is worse, apparently the refugees are being pressured to return to Myanmar by the Thai government but arrive back with nothing. They speak of government troops shelling a Karen meeting just weeks before, Myanmar hasn't reformed, it's just open for business. I started to have these doubts months before when Myanmar kicked out Medcin Sans Frontiers, those known troublemakers dealing with the Ebola epidemic, for providing medical care to the Muslim minority. It's not ethical tourism, it's just a military backed government with allegations of rights abuses. But then I'm standing in one of those right now.

Tony Blair

The political section of the news is dictated by a government spokesman. There is no avoiding it, it's on all the channels. Its a long list of ways the government is working tirelessly for the good of the country and should probably be backed by moving music... and played in North Korea. Among the highlights of their honest endeavours to make Thailand better, a meeting with Tony Blair. On the agenda, working towards democracy. Thailand had a democracy, this group overthrew it. There must be a minimum period where such claims are treated with due contempt. A local thumps the remote control, the government is hated here.

Military uniforms

Yet another country where the ceremonial military uniforms and parades are curiously styled on the British. No idea how that could have happened.