Some behaviours at the night time beach fires (best between 11pm and 3am) are more welcome than others. It's all wonderful and hippy and free, so instead people vote with their bums or silent contempt. On the whole it's a nice atmosphere and a laid back way to spend the night. All the lodges have closed and this is the public social scene.
Don't join a fire and then throw an extra log you didn't buy onto the fire. Ask permission, it's polite.
Joining a fire and then making conversation in a language the hosts don't understand. The odd comment is OK, too much private conversation is a little bit rude. Making conversation in this other language across the middle of the fire is right out.
Arriving at the fire and talking too much, or not talking enough. In extremes, not talking can be at best moody, and talking too much about trivia can be taxing. How many times must a man recount the country he is from, and the duration of his stay.
You could ask permission to join the fire, but is it necessary. It seems polite, but everyone is too polite to say no. You're just obliging them to welcome you. It's clear you should be welcomed with open arms, but then who says groups of men aren't regarded with some suspicion. There is an element of sexual competition, and the atmosphere changes when single women are present. It was said in honesty by a Spanish man after the last women had left. "So, it's just guys now, I know we were all thinking it". Curiously, women who are present as part of a couple have the most stabilising effect. Their presence calms, but does not lead to that type of primitive pursuit typified by conversations spatially centered around a women.
The man whore. Each night (and most of the day) unashamedly pursuing a different woman. The close one-on-one conversations. One night eating the face of a Welsh girl, the next night engaging the young Australian ladies. The next daylight back to flirting on the beach. He isn't young enough for me to dismiss this behaviour with a smile and chuckle about guys in their early 20s. Still, if someone sucked out my entire sense of shame I might not be far off myself so I can't judge too harshly.
Sometimes people want electronic music, sometimes they don't. I would be tempted to say this is not the place to have Goa parties, but it's only a narrow majority who favour quiet conversation and real instruments (a drum for these purposes does not count as a real instrument and belongs with the electronic music). Certainly the Austrian man with the twirly fire sticks liked his music. But this preference halved the size of the fire, because what do you do, sit around being alternative without being able to converse. No you do cool things which involve twirling shiny things around and taking drugs (drugs other than cannabis).
Local people at the fire, ignoring the overly drunk men who are loud and intrusive, usually results in silence. Conversations are stilted and basic, because in the end there is little common ground with people who have not left their home country. The people who join the fires are not the most educated, the richer and mixed groups would be more likely to build their own fires and keep to themselves (but converse in English, the language of the higher classes in Bangalore). The difference softens when Indian men arrive who have lived in Europe or the USA. They are a few years closer to the social groups who frequent the fires and can engage better.
Hitting the cows. Don't hit the cows, they just want to eat your candles. Wave the stick around and they understand. On the other hand, don't get too friendly, cows love to wander in and soil the ground around you.
Don't join a fire and then throw an extra log you didn't buy onto the fire. Ask permission, it's polite.
Joining a fire and then making conversation in a language the hosts don't understand. The odd comment is OK, too much private conversation is a little bit rude. Making conversation in this other language across the middle of the fire is right out.
Arriving at the fire and talking too much, or not talking enough. In extremes, not talking can be at best moody, and talking too much about trivia can be taxing. How many times must a man recount the country he is from, and the duration of his stay.
You could ask permission to join the fire, but is it necessary. It seems polite, but everyone is too polite to say no. You're just obliging them to welcome you. It's clear you should be welcomed with open arms, but then who says groups of men aren't regarded with some suspicion. There is an element of sexual competition, and the atmosphere changes when single women are present. It was said in honesty by a Spanish man after the last women had left. "So, it's just guys now, I know we were all thinking it". Curiously, women who are present as part of a couple have the most stabilising effect. Their presence calms, but does not lead to that type of primitive pursuit typified by conversations spatially centered around a women.
The man whore. Each night (and most of the day) unashamedly pursuing a different woman. The close one-on-one conversations. One night eating the face of a Welsh girl, the next night engaging the young Australian ladies. The next daylight back to flirting on the beach. He isn't young enough for me to dismiss this behaviour with a smile and chuckle about guys in their early 20s. Still, if someone sucked out my entire sense of shame I might not be far off myself so I can't judge too harshly.
Sometimes people want electronic music, sometimes they don't. I would be tempted to say this is not the place to have Goa parties, but it's only a narrow majority who favour quiet conversation and real instruments (a drum for these purposes does not count as a real instrument and belongs with the electronic music). Certainly the Austrian man with the twirly fire sticks liked his music. But this preference halved the size of the fire, because what do you do, sit around being alternative without being able to converse. No you do cool things which involve twirling shiny things around and taking drugs (drugs other than cannabis).
Local people at the fire, ignoring the overly drunk men who are loud and intrusive, usually results in silence. Conversations are stilted and basic, because in the end there is little common ground with people who have not left their home country. The people who join the fires are not the most educated, the richer and mixed groups would be more likely to build their own fires and keep to themselves (but converse in English, the language of the higher classes in Bangalore). The difference softens when Indian men arrive who have lived in Europe or the USA. They are a few years closer to the social groups who frequent the fires and can engage better.
Hitting the cows. Don't hit the cows, they just want to eat your candles. Wave the stick around and they understand. On the other hand, don't get too friendly, cows love to wander in and soil the ground around you.
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